Funeral

So the funeral for Rosa was far easier than the preparations. From the day that Rosa passed, the funeral arrangements went haywire. She thought she had insurance, but she only had accidental and dismemberment. Which I don't understand. Because when you sign papers for insurance, you are explained what they are. It isn't hidden. It is usually at the top of the paper!

So she didn't have insurance. Lollie sent her to Westlawn because Rosa thought she had a plot there. Yeah, you caught that I said thought. She had 2 plots in California and she thought they could be transferred. Well, they couldn't. The funeral was going to cost over $7000. I was told that the family only had $4500. They gave up on a burial and had their hearts set on cremation.

I kinda freaked out. I didn't want to. But I know why burial is so important. I also know that Rosa used to want a cremation and then changed her mind after her baptism. The missionaries explained to Rosa why a burial is important. We are counseled to treat our bodies with respect even after death. Burial is a symbolic ritual of when Jesus was resurrected. He arose from his tomb and since he was in a tomb, we should be too.

Anyways, I fought so hard for a burial. I called so many places and then President Wilkinson (Branch President) called me and gave me information about Bellevue Funeral Home. I called and talked to Rob and I told him we had $4500. He said he will make it happen!

WOOOOHOOOOOOOO!

But I exclaimed too early.

Lollie had already convinced the rest of the family (excluding CC and I) that cremation would be the best route. Not only could the family afford a cremation but they would have extra money left over to spend how they want!

ARGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!

NO CREMATION! WE CAN MAKE IT WORK! I FOUND A WAY!

After I exclaimed that, I was informed that there would need to be a family meeting to discuss if the family wanted to spend the entire amount of money on a funeral for the head chief of the family or spend a portion of the money on a cremation with money to spend afterwards.

In the end after CC explained that we would be honoring his mother's wishes, his dad agreed that this is the best route.

YEA!!!!!

Now I can exclaim!

Oh wait, there isn't $4500? The amount I was told AND the amount I informed the funeral director we had?

Crap.

Well, we will get the remaining amount.

So, after I found a funeral home, I needed to organize the funeral services because no one really wanted to be burdened with the arrangements. I was more than happy to prepare a tribute to a wonderful woman. So I found the speakers for the funeral, arranged the florists, prepared the eulogy, arranged songs, prepared the wake, gathered clothing and makeup, copied over 60 pictures of Rosa for a scrapbook, arranged for video and audio taping of the services and made dinner for a family of over 17 people two nights in a row.

The visitation was beautiful, she was in the relief society room, chairs were set up, flowers and the scrapbook (thanks to Tricia and Elva....it was GORGEOUS!) were set up on the table and soft hymns were playing in the background. Mimi (my grandma) videotaped the whole thing! The service was beautiful as well. My mom helped take care of Wyatt during the service because he was antsy. The ride to the cemetery was atrocious! We let my sister drive us to the cemetery during the pouring rain. She is a horrible driver and also it was raining really hard.

It began pouring even more when we got to the cemetery. Rosa had a good laugh, watching all of us try and cram ourselves into the tent because the rain really was hard. CC dedicated the grave (YEA!) and we stayed to see her lowered into her grave.

We then had a reception afterwards at the church. That was a good dinner provided by the Fontenelle Ward. We had tons of fun and laughs including Peyton Gurney cruising down the table before everyone got there. Rosa's sister, Cecilia, wrote a letter that had a few laughs in it and we were able to laugh a little bit more. The kids played while the adults talked about light things. Everything was wonderful and I know she would be so happy.

I am exhausted.

Unfortunately, I never got a day to relax. I wanted a day after the funeral to cry...no no to BAWL! All I wanted was for the family to acknowledge all of the hard work I did and maybe even say thank you. None of them thanked me though. Well, CC did after he heard me complaining. I told him that doesn't count.

The extra money for the funeral was obtained due to Mimi. She fronted $500 which she asked if she would have it back by Friday. Everyone said YEAH of COURSE. Well, it's Friday and guess what....no money! CC called his Aunt who was sending the money and she informed him that the money was sent on Saturday. The money wasn't coming from Egypt....it was coming from California. That isn't that far!

So now my family is out $500 and there is nothing I can do about it.

Rosa

Mom and Son

Rosa (my mother in law) had 2 quadruple bypass surgeries on July 24 (the second one only hours after the first because one of her veins they bypassed with was bleeding internally). She was weak but was able to come home shortly after the surgery. Her recovery was slow, but she was making small steps of progress.

Then, on the 23 of August she was admitted into the hospital due to a sever infection that pushed its way into her breast bone. They opened her up on the 25th to clean her up and made the decision to leave her open so they can administer antibiotics directly to the bone.

Her birthday was the 30th of August. Everyone stopped by to wish her a Happy Birthday! The boys and I hadn't been there to see her during her last hospital stay until her birthday due to the flu running through our home.

On September 3, 2008 she had surgery to close her chest up.They took some of her right pectoral muscle to help close her chest, which was going to take longer than they would have liked. I told CC that morning that I thought he should go see her before her surgery to spend time with her. He said he felt like he should anyways, so we were on the same page.

He went and stayed there all day. Finally, he came home and we had a few errands to run. She came out of surgery around 7ish and she was doing, alright.

At 9 pm Tony (CC's dad) called us and said she wasn't going to make it through the night and that we needed to get there ASAP. I immediately called my mom to come watch the boys for us. We went to the hospital and we found out that she was on blood pressure medicine to keep her bp up. Due to the instability of her bp, they couldn't give her pain medication. So after a few hours of surgery, she had no pain medication. The doctors were pretty sure she had bleeding on the brain but they couldn't give her a MRI because that in itself would kill her.

At 10:30, 3 very great men from church came to give her a blessing. While they were in with her, the family gathered together to discuss what was going on. The medicine was keeping her alive. She said she was a complete DNR. Rosa never wanted to be rescued. She said if the Lord wants her, she doesn't want anyone to interfere with that.

The family decided to stop the pain she was in and to stop the medicine. The good thing is that when they stopped the bp medicine, they would be able to give morphine. So she wouldn't be in pain. We got back there and the nurse informed us that the breathing tube also was keeping her alive and that it would prolong her death.

The family also agreed to take out the breathing tube.

Tony, his sister Chavela, Lollie, CC and I were in the room and we stayed there with her while she took her last breaths. It was so hard to watch but I felt that it was an honor to be with her in her last moments. Elias came in right after she passed to be with her as well.

Shortly after midnight on September 4th, Rosa returned to be with Heavenly Father.

The next couple days were a whirlwind of activity preparing for her funeral. I think I need to go make dinner, so I will add more later. I have so much more to write and I SHOULD have written this each day. But as we wrote the eulogy, I realized how much easier this would be with a journal!

I need to make sure that not only do I tell my children a MILLION stories, but I also need to journal the important milestones of my life and my boys life. I love my boys so much and I want to make my death as easy on them as possible. If there is even such a thing.CC's graduation! (Clockwise from top left) Elva, Tony, Rosa, CC, Kayla, Wyatt, Lollie, Cynthia, Sergio, Kane and Jr. All in Wyoming!

At the hospital for Martin's birth. (Clockwise from top left) Martin, Tony, Elva, Kane, Lollie, Rosa, CC, Wyatt, Ana'Li and Elias

AHA! I remember now!

My career plan....

Don't laugh. I have told some people and they scoff at me. A little background. I quit EVERYTHING I do.

BUT

This time is different....I have no completed TWO semesters of school!!!!! Next semester will be a bit harder because I will be in 3 classes instead of 2.

Anyways, I will be in school until March of 2010. I will then get a job as a medical transcriptionist and work from home (minimize day care costs and its something CC and I said we didn't want to do). In July of 2010, I will go to my graduation! Its in Chicago.

I will have my associates degree from Kaplan then.

In 2012, when Wyatt starts all day kindergarten I will go to a college here in Omaha for my Bachelors degree in nursing. I am thinking Clarkson. I don't know all of that yet.

I should be done with my bachelors degree in 3 years. So in 2015, if I really like the obstetrics, my family will be moving 3 hours away to Kansas City. There, I will locate employment as a nurse on a labor and delivery floor. After working for one year (in 2016), I will apply to the Masters program in Midwifery at the University of Kansas! That takes 2 1/2 to 3 1/2 years. So by 2020 I should have my Masters degree. We won't know if we are staying in Kansas or moving back to Omaha. We will decide when it gets closer to that date.

How does that break down all of our ages?

CC is 28, I am 27, Kane is 5 and Wyatt is 2 (thats the ages at the end of the current year. Wyatt and I haven't had our birthdays yet. *mine is in 18 days!*)

In 2010 when the associates is done, We will be 30, 29, 7 and 4.
In 2012 when Wyatt starts Kindergarten and I go for bachelors we will be 32, 31, 9 and 6.
In 2015 when I graduate and we move to Kansas, we will be 35, 34, 12 and 9.
In 2016 when I begin the masters program, we will be 36, 35, 13 and 10.
In 2020 I will have to be done completely. We will be 40, 39, 17 and 14.

The sad thing is that Kane will have one more year left of school. I just saw that. I would hate to move when he has one more year left of school.

We are moving to Kansas the year he starts JR high. We are horrible parents!

Maybe there will be a midwifery program here in Omaha!?!?!

Whew......

I just handed in my LAST final today!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so relieved. I love school, but it will be nice to have a 2 week vacation from it. I bought 3 binders and some page protectors and I am going to be putting Kane's schoolwork in them. I bought one for PreK and one for Kindergarten.

Kane is doing so good. He is reading at a first grade level and his math skills are those of a first graders as well. His teacher wants to put him in first grade for reading class. He is excited because then he wont be "bored" during reading. He has been reading words for a while now and the other day he read a sentence in a book and I was so surprised! Just yesterday he was saying Dada and now he is reading!

Wyatt.....

Well....

Wyatt is a snot! He is so much like me its not even FUNNY! I am telling you! If he doesn't get what he wants when he wants it, he cries. I hate saying this, but I don't care if he cries. Let him cry. I am not giving in to things he wants.

He also wants to just grunt. He will want a drink of my juice. He says, "Ehhhhhhhh" while pointing. Its very cute, but so annoying at the same time. I say, "Use your big boy words" (you will hear me say that A LOT now) he then says...."Peeeaaaaaasssssseeeeeee" I say, "Please what? What do you want?" He responds with "Jjjuuuuceeee" I say, "Say drink of juice please" Now, his drink sounds demonic. I think Grandma taught him how to say drink because he deepens his voice and says "Deeeng" Now, he says, "Deeeng (then his voice gets higher) jjuuuuceee Peeeeeeaaaaasssssseeeeee" But the trick is, you cannot give him any until he has said all 3 words. So he says drink, then looks at you and nods his head yes. Then he gives in and says the second one, then nods his head. And lastly, please.

Tonight, he refused to eat his veggies. Absolutely refused! I told him no ice cream (because we were having sundaes!) until he finished his veggies. He screamed and dropped his head on the table. He does not like canned veggies since they are too mushy. So I busted out the broccoli. Yeah. That was fun. He already saw Kane eating his sundae. Why can't he have one too? I put some ice cream on a spoon and topped it off with a good sized chunk of broccoli. He saw it and you could see the terrible angst he was in. Eat the ice cream with that intruder on it or eat nothing at all.

Ice cream one and for the next 5 bites, he had a bit of ice cream with broccoli on top.

I am so mean.

On Saturday was Kane and Wyatt's first try at putt putt golf. Kane did really good. He didn't take forever to get it in the hole like his Aunt Sami (I promise you on a couple she had over 9!). Wyatt loved hitting balls. He loves sports. But when the ninth hole came around....it was all over then!

THE BALL DISAPPEARED!!!!!!!!!!

Kane understood, he was sad because he wanted to keep playing. Wyatt, put his hands over his ears and said (as loud as he could), "UH-OH! WHERE BALL AT?" He was so dramatic, he got on the green right next to the hole and you could tell he was debating whether or not to stick his little hand in the hole to see where they went.

We had a blast!

Well.....Its 10:45, I have to clean up a pile of junk that accumulated on my table over the past week while finals sucked my soul away. So I should leave here for now. I am going to go see what I was supposed to write about in my last post........