I need to be more governmental

So I was watching PBS and I heard that McCain chose Sarah Palin for vice president.

WHAT?!?!?!

So either way, we will have a shocking presidential pair in the White House next year. A woman vice president or a black President.

I really want to follow politics, but I am overwhelmed. That is the one area in life that I am overwhelmed in.

I made peanut butter/chocolate brownies today. Yea!

I know I went from politics to food. See, I really want to learn more about our country's government system. However, my mind wanders when I think about senators, bills, elections....

Maybe my brain is so filled with other stuff that it has reached full capacity. Then that would mean this is as smart as I get!!!!

I don't like that too much.

I am in finals now. I have two papers due on Tuesday. One I just have to proof read the other is a 500 word script for a medical procedures on a patient.

I am excited because Tuesday is my last day. I don't go back until the 17th. That's 15 days of a vacation! Next semester I am in 3 classes. The amount is a lot but the other two classes are easier classes. I am taking Software Applications (knowing and understanding Microsoft products), Career Developments Strategies and Anatomy & Physiology I.

The first two classes are the easier ones. The last is the harder one. But that's ok because I am going to graduate! My last class will be March 2010. I graduate July 2010 in Chicago!

Not only do we get to have another income while I am able to stay at home, but we get a trip to Chicago too!

While we are there, we may check out the smaller cities around Chicago. CC can work there so we may want to move there.

We can go to Kansas. That would rock! The boys would have a more central hub for a city instead of Omaha where bigger things don't come here....like moto x, pro football, some concerts....

We haven't decided yet.....

I will have to post my education plan next time!

Do you accept responsibly for your choices in life?

I belong to Spark and I get a Healthy Reflections email every day. Today's email really made me think.

"Do you feel in control of your life? No matter how negative events or actions may become, you are the only force that is able to determine the reaction. Often we fail to do this and instead blame the world for our feelings of sadness, rejection, and hopelessness. The reality is that your actions are a choice, and you must claim those feelings and choices. We can be our best cheerleader or worst enemy when it comes to determining the health of our emotions. Do some pep talks with yourself each morning. This will help you develop positive, self-affirming thoughts that will enhance your personal development and growth."

So why am I so down on myself? If I want to be in control of my life, why don't I. I allow others to take the wheel and I also yank the wheel in any direction and let it go wherever. I don't stop it from going over the edge.

I have done that to many a people. I have thrown them in the back, tied them up and yanked the wheel so hard, they crash. And I jump out before it crashes. I have done that with all of my boyfriends. CC too.

I'm still taking my meds and no I am not having a break down. I am just thinking about the way I have acted in my life and the pain I have caused others. Then I wonder how better their lives would have been without me. It just makes me wonder why I tend to ruin lives. I feel like the plague.

My sweet baby....

Is no longer a baby anymore. He starts kindergarten on Monday. We met his teacher last night and saw his room. He has a desk with his name tag and everything. I am excited because he is growing up and he will get to spend time with other kids his age. I am also excited because he is such a smart boy, he loves learning.

That's where my excitedness stops. He's my baby! He's leaving the nest and this is only for a whole day! What am I going to do when he goes to college? He probably will leave the city or state for that one. I haven't figured it out yet. But I am going to go with one probability. I am scared of growing old and un-needed. I know that's silly. But right now, I am Kane's teacher. I have taught him 90% of what he knows and now he will not need me as much.

There is still Wyatt. My baby baby. He is the last of the Bernals. Kinda like Last of the Mohicans. I never saw that movie, but I am thinking it's about a mohican who goes to Kindergarten. LOL I love Wyatt, all of his uh-ohs and the way he smells things. I know that pretty soon, Wyatt wont need me either. I will treasure every moment with Wyatt while Kane is in school. The same way I treasured every moment with Kane. I have treasured every moment with both of them. But now I will get one on one time with Wyatt. He is so sweet and I cannot wait to spend time with him. But I will miss Kane terribly.

I neglect. I know.

Wyatt waking up and trying to wake up Kane as we were camping!

Kane and Wyatt playing in the sand when we went camping on June 28. They were making turtles!

So I kinda lost my blog. I am glad it was not a baby or a puppy or even money. Because I would be a horrible person!

I was thinking about posting but I didn't know what the email address was! I figured it out, then I found it and here I am!

I have 3 more weeks in class. I am excited about that. I love school, but I get so exhausted. If I didn't procrastinate so much it wouldn't be so bad. I don't allow myself to do things immediately. I started therapy in July and procrastination and toxic family members are the topic of choice right now. It's a thrill for me to wait until the last minute. It's not very healthy. I think I'm addicted to unhealthy things though.






Today, I took down Wyatt's crib and put up his toddler bed. I cried. Kane starts school on Monday. Wyatt is so independent. I know that they all still need me. I feel like they don't though. That's Wyatt during his nap.




Elyse, Kane and Jeshua
Wyatt at the game.

Wyatt went to his first baseball game on August 2. The library gave kids 2 tickets each if they read a certain amount of books. Kane and Wyatt did, so they got 4 tickets. Wyatt loved it! He got mad because the peanut mascot left. He was yelling Peanut where are you? But it sounded like "Peaun whewe arrrrrr ooooo"


Our first zucchini!

We started a garden. In June. We were late. That's ok though. We have 13 tomato plants and 8 zucchini plants. I thought we would need that many. I don't know why. I thought we would need that many. We have a WHOLE bunch of green tomatoes. I cannot wait for them to turn red.

So CC and I went to the movies and bought WAY to much popcorn. So we brought it home so we can feed it to the birds. I went to the bathroom (which I guess I am not allowed to do) and this is what I found. Turns out, Wyatt spilled it all over and then him and Kane decided to clean it up before I saw them. They didn't win!