The day after Wy's birthday....

My mom and I went on an errand pretty early. Normally, we arrive at our destination late and this time I didn't want to be late. So we got there on time, came home and as I was getting out of the van my mom said hey someone is here for you.

I get out and there is a tow truck right behind me waiting for my van!!!!!

We were behind ever since Rosa passed. We paid $633 the day before (because that's what the supervisor on my account said we could do) and we were going to pay $633 a month to get caught up. I guess he changed his mind or something because he got my money on Friday and took my van on Saturday!

I was told by the tow truck driver that all I had to do was get caught up and I could get the van back. Of course not though. That would be all to easy. They wanted the full amount back $17,000.

Yeah, let me just open my purse and give that to you. Ok. Sure.

So I spent Saturday trying to get my van back, canceling appointments left and right.

Now we have CC's old beater. Which does not have rear defrost or a radio and it's a 2 door.

It works. But it sucks transporting kids. Not to mention it is a 1992 and it scares the crap out of me.

We are going to buy a newer car at tax time. I cannot wait!

I hadn't realized

That I hadn't posted in so long! Wow. I have been SO busy that I just thought I had posted. Oh well. Be prepared for a FLOOD of posts!

I will do this first post as Wyatt's Birthday!

My baby turned 2 this year. He is so independent that I wish I could do more for him. But NOOOOOO. He HAS to do it himself! For his birthday we went to the Pizza Machine. We had a lot of fun. The last time we went, he didn't really get what it was all about.

First, you eat at a buffet. I know I don't NEED a buffet. But I did really good. I got 3 plates, a salad, the main plate and a dessert. You can choose where you want to sit at based on the different rooms. There are huge TVs in 3 of the rooms. All themed different. One room is a sports arena and they play....can you guess? Sports. Another room is 1950's ish and the other room is an Italian vineyard. Both of those rooms play cartoons. There is another room that is spaceish which has a smaller TV and a mini stage.

After we ate, we went to play games! Wyatt and Kane had so much fun! There are little games for the little ones, bigger games for the bigger ones and also a mini roller coaster, bumper cars, race cars and golf.

Kane wanted to ride the coaster with CC but CC thought he would like golf better. SO I said we will do golf and if there is enough left over he can still go on the coaster. We got to the golf and realized we don't have enough even for golf! As I told Kane we cannot play golf, an employee was back there and said she will just use her play points for us to play!

It was really fun! It was black light golf that had underwater, amazon and dinosaur themes. I don't remember the last ones because Wyatt was tired of hitting the ball more than once. So we were in a hurry to go through. Kane had a blast though. I don't remember if I won or if CC won. :D

We had enough tickets for the kids to each get a few small items from the redemption counter. We even have some left over for next time.

Oh yea, Kane and DAD did go on the coaster. It goes forward and backwards. CC and Kane were giggling the whole time.

Both boys fell asleep on the way home. It was really fun. I love those moments with my boys where everyone is completely happy and there are no arguments. I truly cherish those moments when CC and both boys are laughing and smiling.

KMART BABY!

So I got a JOB!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, I said a job. I honestly don't WANT to work because of school, church and my family. But we need the money.

hired me. I am so stoked. I will be working from 6 pm at night to 10 pm. When the hours extend, so will mine. Unfortunately, I do have to work 2 Sundays a month in November and December. Those dang holidays.

Julia Long will be watching Kane and Wyatt from 5:30 to 7:30, when CC gets home. I wont work on Wednesdays and after the holidays no Sundays too.

So now I am off to bed, I have to pee in a VERY large cup tomorrow. Then on Wednesday I will find out my hours.

48 hours of pure hecticness part 3

Ok. So I get home with Kane and Elva forgot to put my hot pocket in the oven. I have no microwave so that is the only way it can be. I wanted to get to the church at 4. Its ten to 4 (still no shower and I am not dressed). I still have to set up the prizes, get the kids ready and do Elva's hair. I was spazing. I get dressed, STILL HAVEN'T EATEN, get everything ready to leave, call my mom to meet me at the church (since she was picking up the boys) and get ready to leave.

I get to the church at 5:00. I am running around trying to get all of the last minute things done and then the rest of the night just flew by. We had a chili cookoff (which I only got ONE bowl), games for the kids and even a trunk or treat. We then gave out prizes. Then, cleaning took place. Elva took my kids home (oh yeah, my mom brought them back to the party) and CC and I cleaned up with help from a lot of members. I got home, threw off my costume and CRASHED! I was so glad my kids were asleep.

CC let me sleep in the next day. I slept 11 hours that night.

Oh how wonderful it is.

48 hours of pure hecticness part 2

I wake up at 7 am.....KEEP hitting snooze (because I SUCK at waking up on time) and I finally get up to get going at 8 am. Now remember, I wanted to get to the church at 7. Yeah. Didn't happen.

My mom couldn't watch Wyatt, so I didn't want to call Ginny at 8 in the morning so I just brought him with. He was fine, he had no problems. I got to the church, I had a ton of stuff to take in. I took him into the gym and played with him for a few minutes. He would stand under the basketball hoop and say, "basketballball" then "throw" the ball up in the air. Then he would say "OHHHHHHH" and run after the ball, catch it and drop with it. I think he was adding his football moves in there.

I went to the nursery and he followed. I went to the Primary room and he followed. Now, both of those are on the same side of the building. Then I went to the Relief Society room. Not on the same side. I was over there for maybe 5 minutes. I start coming back to the gym and I hear my baby crying, "MAMA....MAMA.....MAMA" with real tears. I say, "Wy, I'm right here, I didn't leave you" He follows my voice and RUNS at me with his basketball in his hands. He dropped it at my feet and said "Uuuup". Of course since I just scarred him for life, I have to oblige. :D

Tricia and Chelsea (along with Izzy and Maddie) came to help me set up the tables. We got all the tables set up in a cool almost O shape, the tablecloths on, the food table set up sans food and chairs up.

Its now 11:45. We all leave. I meet Elva at my house, I am going to shower, eat and do her hair then go to Kane's school. I volunteered to bring a game for the kids to play at the school for the Halloween party. I was supposed to be at Kane's school by 12:40.

I get there and Elva tells me that she has to go back home for the kids diaper bags (our niece and nephew she watches) and her clothes. I tell her I have to go to Walgreens for hair spray. I offer to take Martin (since he's in a car seat) and she can take Ana (because she does nothing but scream all the time). I go, get everyone a pop and a hot pocket. Yummm. Healthy lunch huh?

I leave, my keys fell in the van, Wyatt was SUPPOSED to go to his chair. BUT NOOOOOOOOOOO. He goes to the drivers seat AND LOCKS THE DOORS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMGSH!

What the hell am I supposed to do now?!?!?!?!?!

I begged, I prayed, I bribed, I yelled, I threatened. I got NOTHING.

For 20 minutes I banged on the windows and tried to manipulate a 2 year old who is telling me NO. FINALLY, I tell him to look at the mirror on top. I point to it on the windshield. There are buttons to open the doors by the mirror. I then say, "Push the buttons Papa!" and he DID IT!

He pushed the button that opened the back driver side door. I reach in, unlock the front door, grab him and tell him how lucky he is that I love him!

I get home and Elva is not there. BNFJKBEDfjkbkdsbfasbdfdsabgisbgfiDBfJBSKBfkdsbfs

It is now, 12:50. Lunch is almost over for Kane, so I missed lunch. The Halloween party starts at 1:30 and I wanted to be there way before then. I can't take a shower because I have Wyatt AND Martin. She calls me and says, I am here getting Elias, I should be there in a few minutes. Now had I NOT had Martin, I could have taken a shower and told Elva to meet me at the school.

Wyatt was real fussy, so I put him down for a nap. Of course without lunch.

Elva gets home, I had just finished changing. I have enough time to grab the games and leave. Still nothing to eat. No breakfast, oh wait. I had 3 Nilla Waffers. SO I go to Kane's school, go with him to a video....that was....not very festive and fun. We played games. By now, my feet are KILLING me!!!!

But I just realized it is midnight. CRAP!

I get baby Leah tomorrow at 7 am!

YIKES!

I gotta go to bed.

Goodnight!

I guess this is a 3 part series?!?!?!

48 hours of pure hecticness part 1

It all started on Thursday. CC and I were in charge of the Branch Halloween Party. It actually started 6 weeks ago. We got the calling...then we sat on it. It wasn't the best thing to do...but I procrastinate.

Anyways...

On Thursday, I had the list of Halloween items I needed to get for the party. I have no problem having other people help me out and buying things for the party, but I think it's much easier when one person gets everything. So I spent from 11 pm to 3 pm shopping. Came home, put Wy down for a much needed nap, left Elva here and went to get Kane.

I go to Ginny's house to leave her the skeleton templates so she can cut them all out (I AM SO SORRY!) and I get a call from Elva. HYSTERICAL! The people that gave us the dog were pushing into our house to get her back. SUPPOSEDLY the check wasn't good. Now, I know the bank had funds in it. I KNEW IT DID. I told Elva to lock the door and if he tries to get in again, call 911.

I call the wife and I say whats going on? She said "YOU STOLE MY PUPPY! YOUR A THIEVING %&@r@ AND I AM CALLING THE POLICE AND YOU ARE GOING TO JAIL!" Now remember, Kane is in my vehicle. So he hears everything that is going on.

I am trying SO hard to talk to her without losing my temper. I am cranky from 4 hours of shopping, my feet hurt and I had to deal with a 2 year old with a delayed nap for a good chunk of the shopping trip. So me being nice only last a few seconds.

I told her that I would figure it out. She said, "GIVE ME MY DAMN DOG". I said, "No. My sister in law is not opening the door. Your husband pushed his way into my home and tried to rip the dog from her arms. She will NOT open the door for you!"

She tells me that it is impossible for her husband to have done all of that because he is only one guy.

Oh my gosh are you SERIOUS LADY!!!!!

So I am now on my way to the bank WHERE THERE ARE FUNDS to just withdrawal the money. I get 3/4 of the way there and she said, "I just want the puppy back now. I don't want her to belong to a bunch of mexicans"

fhfhto5t5houi3otfgqh3tqh35439q04iu589u7h5909ikjfdhsjdhsjfkgjksdfkgbab

WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

She then proceeds to say, "If you don't give me my dog back, you are going to jail and I will start trouble at your husbands supposed work. Because I know that lowlife mexicans don't get jobs at US Cellular" (The night before, I gave her my address, phone number and she asked about CC. I told her where he was and she goes to that store because her account is there.)

So Lollie knows whats going on. Lollie is on her way there. Lollie also sent her oldest son and one of her nephews to my house to protect Elva, Wyatt and Cookie. :D

Those two boys are amazing. I should make them some type of goodie for helping me out so much. I think I will do that today.

Anyways

I tell the lady that I am almost there. The money will be there. Do you really want to take the puppy away from 2 boys that absolutely love her already?

She said she has no time for this and she is going to call the police and hangs up.

Then she calls me back at when I am at 72 & Maple. Now, I live off of 42 & Maple. I tell her, she says, "I am calling the police right now. Just put the puppy on the porch. You can come get her later."

I said, I am on my way. I will be there soon.

I pull up, the police were here! I get out and walk up to them and guess what they said????

Did you bring the money?

I said, yes. I have been talking to her and I have been telling her where I am at. I told her I was going to the bank. I told her I was on 72, I told her when I was on 60. The male officer looked at the female officer and said, then why are we here?

LOL I walked up to the husband, handed him the money and the wife took it. Then the officer said, hand her the check. She said, "Not until I count this money. Shes a fraud and will probably jip me."

The police officer said, "Did you get their address from the check?" She said, "No. That's not the address on the check" He said "How did you get their address?" She said, "They gave it to me." The officer then said, "This doesn't sound to me like they were trying to jip you if they gave you all of their personal information. It sounds to me like a mix up that you didn't want to resolve on your own"

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Then the officer asked if anything else was needed. I said Nope.

Then they left. I hung out with everyone in the yard for a few minutes and then guess what happened next!!!!!!!!

I realized that in 15 minutes, I have to go to Winners Circle. The kids have not eaten yet. MAN!

I run in, give them some cheese and water and then we leave.

Winners circle was AMAZING!

Kane got a book for completing the summer reading program at the library and his picture taken. AND his name on a plaque that will be at the school.

He met all of his reading, math and citezenship goals. For the first two, he got a medal. The last one got his name in a drawing. He WON! He got a magnadoodle.

It was cute too. He stood up, looked at Ms. O'Shea and said, "THATS ME!!!!!!!!"

We enjoyed Officer Bill being very vocal and fun and had a cookie with ice cream (the kids did).

We get home, give them a yogurt and send them to bed.

Then, I had to finish preparations for the party. Made the centerpieces (with Elva!), arranged the candy and cut out the M's to my costumes. Made the ball toss games, arranged the prizes and got to bed at 3:30 am.

I will post part 2 later!

Miscarriage and Cookie

Oooook. Most of you reading this know that i have the IUD. It's great! I have had maybe 3 or 4 very light periods since Wyatt was conceived.

I started my period on Friday, I still have it today! What the hell! I NEVER have my period longer than 4 days. NEVER. Well, yesterday I began bleeding really heavy and last night/this morning I was experiencing awful pain! I also passed some blood clots.

I found out that it wasn't blood clots. It was the beginnings of my baby. I was pregnant.

Since the IUD was in, my body attacked the baby and killed it.

Wow.

I have been craving baby for a while now and all I had to do was take the damn IUD out. I even had an appointment to do it 8 weeks ago.

But NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Kayla is better without getting pregnant. Do you have any idea what I would have to do to even CARRY a baby? All my sane meds (because they don't MAKE me crazy) would have to vamos. How much do you wanna bet that my poor kids would not be too thrilled with that?

Well.

I got pregnant anyways.

Had I known I was pregnant before my IUD began to create a hostile environment I would have immediately taken it out and even quit my meds. *sigh*

Now I have so many happy things going on in my life in the next few weeks. I don't foresee any alone and down time for me to just....I don't know. Just be.

So that was my SAD news. I have HAPPY news now.

We got a boxer today! She is 8 weeks old and her name is Cookie. Thats one of the only things Wyatt can say clear enough. That I would even consider naming a dog I should add.

She is so docile and is very well mannered.

She's not related to me. LOL



I think my sad news still outweighs my happy news. With everything going on in my life right now, I don't need a baby. But it sure would have been nice to be pregnant again... So for now, I have Kane && Wyatt && Cookie.

Slacking....

Well, I can't say slack because I have never updated on a regular basis. But I can say I am sporadic at best, neglectful at worst.

I have a TON of things to do! Here is just a small list of all the things I am doing the rest of this year!

Putting together a Halloween party for the Branch.
Hosting a party at my home for a friend.
Having Wyatt's birthday party, here.
Putting together a Christmas party for the Branch.
Having a friend stay with us for a little while.

Now, honestly that doesn't sound like a whole lot. Add on to that AVON, school (three classes this time, not just two) holidays, holiday parties we have to attend and my regular, daily, almost non-existent, maidly duties around this house.

I say non-existent because anyone that knows me, knows that I hate to clean. Seriously hate it. I don't know many that enjoy it, but I can say without a shadow of a doubt that I hate it. I would rather gnaw a fence and have wild dogs chase me then clean, on some days. There are a few days that you might actually catch me doing some type of cleaning duties around here. They don't come very often, but if you time it just right, its there. :)

I am taking Anatomy and Physiology I, Software Applications and Career Development Strategies for this term. So far, I am not behind! My grades are in the upper 90% and I like my teachers. The two latter classes are easier compared to my A&P class, which is why I requested to take the third one now as opposed to when I am taking Medical Transcription II and Pharmacology.

I sometimes wonder, why in the world did I mess my whole academic life up by dropping out of school. Seriously. If you don't know why I dropped out, I will tell you. In 8th grade, I missed a couple days because I did not feel well. That's normal, right?

Well, since I missed a couple days, I got behind in school. Not a lot behind. But I got my first B. I know that sounds ridiculous. But I hadn't gotten a B before. Not joking either.

So I freaked out and my logic was, if I don't go back, I won't feel like I am a failure because my grade doesn't reflect my intelligence if I am not there to earn it!

So my mom passed me onto 9th grade. I promised to do better. I promised I would not screw up this time. Then I don't remember what happened, but I missed a few days (in March) and I got behind again.

I got a C on a paper, and my warped logic kicked in.

I dropped out again.

Then I figured if I switched schools, I wouldn't have to be around all of those classmates that wondered why I had to retake some 9th grade classes.

I got through a few months, got depressed, attempted suicide, then dropped out of school because I was so far behind, I would have to graduate a year later than I was supposed to.

That has been my mantra with school.

Go for 1 full term. Do great! Then the second term comes along, I do horrible because I don't give it all of my attention and then I drop out.

I have done that many many many times. This time, I am in my third term!

WOOHOO!

So I have not lost focused and I cannot lose focus. I need to do this not only for me, but for all mah boys (all 3 of them).

I know some people who don't want better for their kids. It makes me sad to see the things they do with their precious ones. It makes me sad that they aren't striving to make their children's lives better then theirs.

That's my rant and rave for the day.

Teri told me to put pics up. Because she likes my pics.

So these are for you Teri. :D

Kane being CHEESY outside.


























Wyatt needing his hat for protection from the horrible slide!

Wyatt, Kane and Ana'Li jamming out with my pots, pans and Tupperware.

I promise Wyatt doesn't walk around with no pants on all the time. This is him helping me make flour tortillas. They were DEEEEELISH!

Kane making flour tortillas now. His were much flatter. LOL

Funeral

So the funeral for Rosa was far easier than the preparations. From the day that Rosa passed, the funeral arrangements went haywire. She thought she had insurance, but she only had accidental and dismemberment. Which I don't understand. Because when you sign papers for insurance, you are explained what they are. It isn't hidden. It is usually at the top of the paper!

So she didn't have insurance. Lollie sent her to Westlawn because Rosa thought she had a plot there. Yeah, you caught that I said thought. She had 2 plots in California and she thought they could be transferred. Well, they couldn't. The funeral was going to cost over $7000. I was told that the family only had $4500. They gave up on a burial and had their hearts set on cremation.

I kinda freaked out. I didn't want to. But I know why burial is so important. I also know that Rosa used to want a cremation and then changed her mind after her baptism. The missionaries explained to Rosa why a burial is important. We are counseled to treat our bodies with respect even after death. Burial is a symbolic ritual of when Jesus was resurrected. He arose from his tomb and since he was in a tomb, we should be too.

Anyways, I fought so hard for a burial. I called so many places and then President Wilkinson (Branch President) called me and gave me information about Bellevue Funeral Home. I called and talked to Rob and I told him we had $4500. He said he will make it happen!

WOOOOHOOOOOOOO!

But I exclaimed too early.

Lollie had already convinced the rest of the family (excluding CC and I) that cremation would be the best route. Not only could the family afford a cremation but they would have extra money left over to spend how they want!

ARGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!

NO CREMATION! WE CAN MAKE IT WORK! I FOUND A WAY!

After I exclaimed that, I was informed that there would need to be a family meeting to discuss if the family wanted to spend the entire amount of money on a funeral for the head chief of the family or spend a portion of the money on a cremation with money to spend afterwards.

In the end after CC explained that we would be honoring his mother's wishes, his dad agreed that this is the best route.

YEA!!!!!

Now I can exclaim!

Oh wait, there isn't $4500? The amount I was told AND the amount I informed the funeral director we had?

Crap.

Well, we will get the remaining amount.

So, after I found a funeral home, I needed to organize the funeral services because no one really wanted to be burdened with the arrangements. I was more than happy to prepare a tribute to a wonderful woman. So I found the speakers for the funeral, arranged the florists, prepared the eulogy, arranged songs, prepared the wake, gathered clothing and makeup, copied over 60 pictures of Rosa for a scrapbook, arranged for video and audio taping of the services and made dinner for a family of over 17 people two nights in a row.

The visitation was beautiful, she was in the relief society room, chairs were set up, flowers and the scrapbook (thanks to Tricia and Elva....it was GORGEOUS!) were set up on the table and soft hymns were playing in the background. Mimi (my grandma) videotaped the whole thing! The service was beautiful as well. My mom helped take care of Wyatt during the service because he was antsy. The ride to the cemetery was atrocious! We let my sister drive us to the cemetery during the pouring rain. She is a horrible driver and also it was raining really hard.

It began pouring even more when we got to the cemetery. Rosa had a good laugh, watching all of us try and cram ourselves into the tent because the rain really was hard. CC dedicated the grave (YEA!) and we stayed to see her lowered into her grave.

We then had a reception afterwards at the church. That was a good dinner provided by the Fontenelle Ward. We had tons of fun and laughs including Peyton Gurney cruising down the table before everyone got there. Rosa's sister, Cecilia, wrote a letter that had a few laughs in it and we were able to laugh a little bit more. The kids played while the adults talked about light things. Everything was wonderful and I know she would be so happy.

I am exhausted.

Unfortunately, I never got a day to relax. I wanted a day after the funeral to cry...no no to BAWL! All I wanted was for the family to acknowledge all of the hard work I did and maybe even say thank you. None of them thanked me though. Well, CC did after he heard me complaining. I told him that doesn't count.

The extra money for the funeral was obtained due to Mimi. She fronted $500 which she asked if she would have it back by Friday. Everyone said YEAH of COURSE. Well, it's Friday and guess what....no money! CC called his Aunt who was sending the money and she informed him that the money was sent on Saturday. The money wasn't coming from Egypt....it was coming from California. That isn't that far!

So now my family is out $500 and there is nothing I can do about it.

Rosa

Mom and Son

Rosa (my mother in law) had 2 quadruple bypass surgeries on July 24 (the second one only hours after the first because one of her veins they bypassed with was bleeding internally). She was weak but was able to come home shortly after the surgery. Her recovery was slow, but she was making small steps of progress.

Then, on the 23 of August she was admitted into the hospital due to a sever infection that pushed its way into her breast bone. They opened her up on the 25th to clean her up and made the decision to leave her open so they can administer antibiotics directly to the bone.

Her birthday was the 30th of August. Everyone stopped by to wish her a Happy Birthday! The boys and I hadn't been there to see her during her last hospital stay until her birthday due to the flu running through our home.

On September 3, 2008 she had surgery to close her chest up.They took some of her right pectoral muscle to help close her chest, which was going to take longer than they would have liked. I told CC that morning that I thought he should go see her before her surgery to spend time with her. He said he felt like he should anyways, so we were on the same page.

He went and stayed there all day. Finally, he came home and we had a few errands to run. She came out of surgery around 7ish and she was doing, alright.

At 9 pm Tony (CC's dad) called us and said she wasn't going to make it through the night and that we needed to get there ASAP. I immediately called my mom to come watch the boys for us. We went to the hospital and we found out that she was on blood pressure medicine to keep her bp up. Due to the instability of her bp, they couldn't give her pain medication. So after a few hours of surgery, she had no pain medication. The doctors were pretty sure she had bleeding on the brain but they couldn't give her a MRI because that in itself would kill her.

At 10:30, 3 very great men from church came to give her a blessing. While they were in with her, the family gathered together to discuss what was going on. The medicine was keeping her alive. She said she was a complete DNR. Rosa never wanted to be rescued. She said if the Lord wants her, she doesn't want anyone to interfere with that.

The family decided to stop the pain she was in and to stop the medicine. The good thing is that when they stopped the bp medicine, they would be able to give morphine. So she wouldn't be in pain. We got back there and the nurse informed us that the breathing tube also was keeping her alive and that it would prolong her death.

The family also agreed to take out the breathing tube.

Tony, his sister Chavela, Lollie, CC and I were in the room and we stayed there with her while she took her last breaths. It was so hard to watch but I felt that it was an honor to be with her in her last moments. Elias came in right after she passed to be with her as well.

Shortly after midnight on September 4th, Rosa returned to be with Heavenly Father.

The next couple days were a whirlwind of activity preparing for her funeral. I think I need to go make dinner, so I will add more later. I have so much more to write and I SHOULD have written this each day. But as we wrote the eulogy, I realized how much easier this would be with a journal!

I need to make sure that not only do I tell my children a MILLION stories, but I also need to journal the important milestones of my life and my boys life. I love my boys so much and I want to make my death as easy on them as possible. If there is even such a thing.CC's graduation! (Clockwise from top left) Elva, Tony, Rosa, CC, Kayla, Wyatt, Lollie, Cynthia, Sergio, Kane and Jr. All in Wyoming!

At the hospital for Martin's birth. (Clockwise from top left) Martin, Tony, Elva, Kane, Lollie, Rosa, CC, Wyatt, Ana'Li and Elias

AHA! I remember now!

My career plan....

Don't laugh. I have told some people and they scoff at me. A little background. I quit EVERYTHING I do.

BUT

This time is different....I have no completed TWO semesters of school!!!!! Next semester will be a bit harder because I will be in 3 classes instead of 2.

Anyways, I will be in school until March of 2010. I will then get a job as a medical transcriptionist and work from home (minimize day care costs and its something CC and I said we didn't want to do). In July of 2010, I will go to my graduation! Its in Chicago.

I will have my associates degree from Kaplan then.

In 2012, when Wyatt starts all day kindergarten I will go to a college here in Omaha for my Bachelors degree in nursing. I am thinking Clarkson. I don't know all of that yet.

I should be done with my bachelors degree in 3 years. So in 2015, if I really like the obstetrics, my family will be moving 3 hours away to Kansas City. There, I will locate employment as a nurse on a labor and delivery floor. After working for one year (in 2016), I will apply to the Masters program in Midwifery at the University of Kansas! That takes 2 1/2 to 3 1/2 years. So by 2020 I should have my Masters degree. We won't know if we are staying in Kansas or moving back to Omaha. We will decide when it gets closer to that date.

How does that break down all of our ages?

CC is 28, I am 27, Kane is 5 and Wyatt is 2 (thats the ages at the end of the current year. Wyatt and I haven't had our birthdays yet. *mine is in 18 days!*)

In 2010 when the associates is done, We will be 30, 29, 7 and 4.
In 2012 when Wyatt starts Kindergarten and I go for bachelors we will be 32, 31, 9 and 6.
In 2015 when I graduate and we move to Kansas, we will be 35, 34, 12 and 9.
In 2016 when I begin the masters program, we will be 36, 35, 13 and 10.
In 2020 I will have to be done completely. We will be 40, 39, 17 and 14.

The sad thing is that Kane will have one more year left of school. I just saw that. I would hate to move when he has one more year left of school.

We are moving to Kansas the year he starts JR high. We are horrible parents!

Maybe there will be a midwifery program here in Omaha!?!?!

Whew......

I just handed in my LAST final today!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so relieved. I love school, but it will be nice to have a 2 week vacation from it. I bought 3 binders and some page protectors and I am going to be putting Kane's schoolwork in them. I bought one for PreK and one for Kindergarten.

Kane is doing so good. He is reading at a first grade level and his math skills are those of a first graders as well. His teacher wants to put him in first grade for reading class. He is excited because then he wont be "bored" during reading. He has been reading words for a while now and the other day he read a sentence in a book and I was so surprised! Just yesterday he was saying Dada and now he is reading!

Wyatt.....

Well....

Wyatt is a snot! He is so much like me its not even FUNNY! I am telling you! If he doesn't get what he wants when he wants it, he cries. I hate saying this, but I don't care if he cries. Let him cry. I am not giving in to things he wants.

He also wants to just grunt. He will want a drink of my juice. He says, "Ehhhhhhhh" while pointing. Its very cute, but so annoying at the same time. I say, "Use your big boy words" (you will hear me say that A LOT now) he then says...."Peeeaaaaaasssssseeeeeee" I say, "Please what? What do you want?" He responds with "Jjjuuuuceeee" I say, "Say drink of juice please" Now, his drink sounds demonic. I think Grandma taught him how to say drink because he deepens his voice and says "Deeeng" Now, he says, "Deeeng (then his voice gets higher) jjuuuuceee Peeeeeeaaaaasssssseeeeee" But the trick is, you cannot give him any until he has said all 3 words. So he says drink, then looks at you and nods his head yes. Then he gives in and says the second one, then nods his head. And lastly, please.

Tonight, he refused to eat his veggies. Absolutely refused! I told him no ice cream (because we were having sundaes!) until he finished his veggies. He screamed and dropped his head on the table. He does not like canned veggies since they are too mushy. So I busted out the broccoli. Yeah. That was fun. He already saw Kane eating his sundae. Why can't he have one too? I put some ice cream on a spoon and topped it off with a good sized chunk of broccoli. He saw it and you could see the terrible angst he was in. Eat the ice cream with that intruder on it or eat nothing at all.

Ice cream one and for the next 5 bites, he had a bit of ice cream with broccoli on top.

I am so mean.

On Saturday was Kane and Wyatt's first try at putt putt golf. Kane did really good. He didn't take forever to get it in the hole like his Aunt Sami (I promise you on a couple she had over 9!). Wyatt loved hitting balls. He loves sports. But when the ninth hole came around....it was all over then!

THE BALL DISAPPEARED!!!!!!!!!!

Kane understood, he was sad because he wanted to keep playing. Wyatt, put his hands over his ears and said (as loud as he could), "UH-OH! WHERE BALL AT?" He was so dramatic, he got on the green right next to the hole and you could tell he was debating whether or not to stick his little hand in the hole to see where they went.

We had a blast!

Well.....Its 10:45, I have to clean up a pile of junk that accumulated on my table over the past week while finals sucked my soul away. So I should leave here for now. I am going to go see what I was supposed to write about in my last post........

I need to be more governmental

So I was watching PBS and I heard that McCain chose Sarah Palin for vice president.

WHAT?!?!?!

So either way, we will have a shocking presidential pair in the White House next year. A woman vice president or a black President.

I really want to follow politics, but I am overwhelmed. That is the one area in life that I am overwhelmed in.

I made peanut butter/chocolate brownies today. Yea!

I know I went from politics to food. See, I really want to learn more about our country's government system. However, my mind wanders when I think about senators, bills, elections....

Maybe my brain is so filled with other stuff that it has reached full capacity. Then that would mean this is as smart as I get!!!!

I don't like that too much.

I am in finals now. I have two papers due on Tuesday. One I just have to proof read the other is a 500 word script for a medical procedures on a patient.

I am excited because Tuesday is my last day. I don't go back until the 17th. That's 15 days of a vacation! Next semester I am in 3 classes. The amount is a lot but the other two classes are easier classes. I am taking Software Applications (knowing and understanding Microsoft products), Career Developments Strategies and Anatomy & Physiology I.

The first two classes are the easier ones. The last is the harder one. But that's ok because I am going to graduate! My last class will be March 2010. I graduate July 2010 in Chicago!

Not only do we get to have another income while I am able to stay at home, but we get a trip to Chicago too!

While we are there, we may check out the smaller cities around Chicago. CC can work there so we may want to move there.

We can go to Kansas. That would rock! The boys would have a more central hub for a city instead of Omaha where bigger things don't come here....like moto x, pro football, some concerts....

We haven't decided yet.....

I will have to post my education plan next time!

Do you accept responsibly for your choices in life?

I belong to Spark and I get a Healthy Reflections email every day. Today's email really made me think.

"Do you feel in control of your life? No matter how negative events or actions may become, you are the only force that is able to determine the reaction. Often we fail to do this and instead blame the world for our feelings of sadness, rejection, and hopelessness. The reality is that your actions are a choice, and you must claim those feelings and choices. We can be our best cheerleader or worst enemy when it comes to determining the health of our emotions. Do some pep talks with yourself each morning. This will help you develop positive, self-affirming thoughts that will enhance your personal development and growth."

So why am I so down on myself? If I want to be in control of my life, why don't I. I allow others to take the wheel and I also yank the wheel in any direction and let it go wherever. I don't stop it from going over the edge.

I have done that to many a people. I have thrown them in the back, tied them up and yanked the wheel so hard, they crash. And I jump out before it crashes. I have done that with all of my boyfriends. CC too.

I'm still taking my meds and no I am not having a break down. I am just thinking about the way I have acted in my life and the pain I have caused others. Then I wonder how better their lives would have been without me. It just makes me wonder why I tend to ruin lives. I feel like the plague.

My sweet baby....

Is no longer a baby anymore. He starts kindergarten on Monday. We met his teacher last night and saw his room. He has a desk with his name tag and everything. I am excited because he is growing up and he will get to spend time with other kids his age. I am also excited because he is such a smart boy, he loves learning.

That's where my excitedness stops. He's my baby! He's leaving the nest and this is only for a whole day! What am I going to do when he goes to college? He probably will leave the city or state for that one. I haven't figured it out yet. But I am going to go with one probability. I am scared of growing old and un-needed. I know that's silly. But right now, I am Kane's teacher. I have taught him 90% of what he knows and now he will not need me as much.

There is still Wyatt. My baby baby. He is the last of the Bernals. Kinda like Last of the Mohicans. I never saw that movie, but I am thinking it's about a mohican who goes to Kindergarten. LOL I love Wyatt, all of his uh-ohs and the way he smells things. I know that pretty soon, Wyatt wont need me either. I will treasure every moment with Wyatt while Kane is in school. The same way I treasured every moment with Kane. I have treasured every moment with both of them. But now I will get one on one time with Wyatt. He is so sweet and I cannot wait to spend time with him. But I will miss Kane terribly.

I neglect. I know.

Wyatt waking up and trying to wake up Kane as we were camping!

Kane and Wyatt playing in the sand when we went camping on June 28. They were making turtles!

So I kinda lost my blog. I am glad it was not a baby or a puppy or even money. Because I would be a horrible person!

I was thinking about posting but I didn't know what the email address was! I figured it out, then I found it and here I am!

I have 3 more weeks in class. I am excited about that. I love school, but I get so exhausted. If I didn't procrastinate so much it wouldn't be so bad. I don't allow myself to do things immediately. I started therapy in July and procrastination and toxic family members are the topic of choice right now. It's a thrill for me to wait until the last minute. It's not very healthy. I think I'm addicted to unhealthy things though.






Today, I took down Wyatt's crib and put up his toddler bed. I cried. Kane starts school on Monday. Wyatt is so independent. I know that they all still need me. I feel like they don't though. That's Wyatt during his nap.




Elyse, Kane and Jeshua
Wyatt at the game.

Wyatt went to his first baseball game on August 2. The library gave kids 2 tickets each if they read a certain amount of books. Kane and Wyatt did, so they got 4 tickets. Wyatt loved it! He got mad because the peanut mascot left. He was yelling Peanut where are you? But it sounded like "Peaun whewe arrrrrr ooooo"


Our first zucchini!

We started a garden. In June. We were late. That's ok though. We have 13 tomato plants and 8 zucchini plants. I thought we would need that many. I don't know why. I thought we would need that many. We have a WHOLE bunch of green tomatoes. I cannot wait for them to turn red.

So CC and I went to the movies and bought WAY to much popcorn. So we brought it home so we can feed it to the birds. I went to the bathroom (which I guess I am not allowed to do) and this is what I found. Turns out, Wyatt spilled it all over and then him and Kane decided to clean it up before I saw them. They didn't win!

AAARRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

So, my life is never slow.

Seriously. I am always doing something crazy. Not just me though. My whole family has crazy crap going on.

I hosted a baby shower for my sister in law on Saturday. Wyatt gets sick. Kane gets sick. My Grandpa died.

Here's the thing about my Grandpa though. I just met him over the phone and email in 2007. A lil over a year ago. I was in a search for my dad (yeah I don't know him either) and I found Lewis Bovee, aka Butch. I talked to him on the phone and emails. For some reason, my donor for half of my DNA doesn't contact me. Unfortunately I don't know if that is because Butch didn't give him my information or if it's because Tim wants nothing to do with me.

Its not like he doesn't KNOW he has a daughter.

I have had a phone relationship with my father. It lasted 2 months. One day, he was "gone". Was he really gone? Did he ask Keith (his brother) to lie to me?

Well, the death of my biological grandfather has possibly taken with it any relationship I may have with my dad.

I don't even know WHO the couple who informed all of his "email buddies" of his death. I don't know who Bill and Sharon Bovee are. I don't know if the reasoning for Butch's death is hereditary. Heck I don't even know WHY he died!!!!

I am not feeling really up right now. I feel lost. I feel hurt. I wished I knew him more. I wish I knew any of my dad's family more.